Who is Adam Bell? (Verses From The Abyss)

^Understanding My Work^

 

Hello, I’m Adam, a 40-year-old from shrewsbury, UK, and I’d like to share the story behind my writing, particularly for those who’ve asked why my words feel so raw, so real, and emotionally powerful. I’ll explain why my work is written in the way it is—why it’s so different from contemporary poetry.

 

I suffer from BPD, PTSD, and psychosis, especially when my mental health takes a downturn. I’m also dyslexic, which I believe has given me a unique advantage in how I approach writing.

 

My mental health spiraled in my early 20s and worsened through my late 30s. My diagnosis combined childhood and adult trauma, which triggered a deep breakdown. Each time I seemed to get better, I’d relapse, worse than before. This cycle took me into dark, lonely places where I saw no good in people and couldn't even bear the thought of conversation. I felt utterly alone. This was the beginning of a slippery slope, one that broke me down further until, one night, I attempted suicide. I awoke not relieved to be alive, but devastated to have survived. It was then that I descended deeper into psychosis, disassociation, and multiple personalities.

 

The years that followed were a blur of mental health battles. I made multiple suicide attempts and spent 2/3 years in psychiatric wards on and off. I drank heavily, felt isolated, and had no one to rely on. However, when my daughter was born, things slowly began to change. Though I relapsed many times, each setback became a little easier. My life started to improve—my drinking stopped, and control seemed more attainable. It wasn’t until I met Ross, a former mental health patient turned psychologist, that I truly began to understand myself and how to express my experiences through writing. Ross connected with me in a way no one else had, and through him, I found a small but significant release in writing.

 

I began to write not just for myself, but as a way to express the anger, rage, and dark thoughts that plagued me. Putting these feelings on paper was therapeutic and helped me feel some relief.

 

Along my journey, I’ve met countless individuals struggling with various mental health issues—from schizophrenia to depression. I learned from them, listened to their stories, and came to understand the complexities of the human mind in ways society often dismisses. I realized that the world needs a voice to shed light on what it’s like to live with these conditions, a voice that isn’t afraid to confront the cold, hard truths of mental health.

 

My writing aims to raise awareness, to show the harsh realities of the brain, and to let others know they’re not alone in their struggles. From my own experience, when people say they’ve hit rock bottom, I believe there’s something even deeper still. My work explores the unpredictable shift from happiness to darkness and how that cycle can consume even the strongest and most loving of minds.

 

I know my writing isn’t polished, and my words may seem simple, but they are always rooted in the rawness of my experience and the people I’ve met along the way. Each word carries the weight of a man’s journey through pain and survival.

 

Thank you for reading, and I hope this message finds you well.